Absolutely love this article by lowededwookie, especially after recently becoming a father myself. This piece was written by a blogger who I’d like to consider to be a friend even though we only know each other online. This has been reproduced with his full permission for which I thank him.
They say “the best thing you can give your child is your time” and that’s the truth. Children need your dad time as much – if not more – than mum time. Mum is there for comfort and cuddles but for everything else there’s you.
Who can fix the iPad when the battery gets low? Dad. Who can fix their bike when the chain falls off? Dad. Who can fix the toy that’s broken? Dad. Dad is the fixit guy and it’s important to allow this dynamic when raising kids. Mum can do these things, but if it’s on her to do it all then the kids will miss out because other things will distract mum.
It’s sad when marriages fail and dads get prevented from seeing their kids. Unless the the kids will be safer without him in their lives, dads need to have access to their kids. It’ll lessen the load on mum and it will allow the kids to bond with others. They’ll learn different things from dad than they will from mum.
Dad also has the biggest role in their life when it comes to understanding they can do things. Dad is the one that lets them fall and get hurt. That seems mean but it will teach them that not everything in life is sunshine and lollipops. But dad will be there with the strong hand of comfort to pick them up when they fall. Not letting kids fall will teach them nothing.
The emotionless nature of dads might seem callous. But it’s an important dynamic in a young child’s life. Dads set boundaries. This might not seem like a good thing. Many of today’s parents don’t set boundaries and rules. They think the child will develop better without them. These parents are morons. Without rules and boundaries you are setting them up for failure. Tell me, where you work are there rules and boundaries? Of course there are. You might not like them but the’re there and you must abide by them. So why do you think those boundaries will be gone when your child reaches the workforce? Kids need boundaries. It helps them know what they can and can’t do. Sure they won’t like them but you will do them more harm by not setting them. They will actually hate you if you don’t.
But dads will also encourage their children in a way mums won’t. We will push our kids further than mums will. For example, the other day we taught Little Wookie to ride a bike. He already knew how to ride but he kept dooming himself by saying he’ll crash if he didn’t have training wheels. He already had the natural instinct but he psyched himself out. Every time he said he would crash he did. The first time we tried – a few months ago – we gave up because he was being a jerk about it. This time I more or less forced him to do it. The result? His “I can’t do this without training wheels” became “I can do this. I can do this”. He fell, I did nothing about it. I helped him up the first couple of times then he did it himself from then on. The result? Little Wookie can ride a bike now.
Mum will encourage their children. They will tell them fairy tales about them being able to do anything they set their minds to. They boost their egos – too far often. Dad will be more realistic. They’ll take their ego down a peg or two. Not because they are cruel, but because we don’t live in a world where everything is a box of fluffy ducks. We are there when they fall to pick them up. But often we are the cause of the fall. We place boundaries on them, not to control them but to keep them safe. We let them run free until they fall over and scone themselves. We’ll tell them off when we need to but try to offer them a better path.
More than anything, a child will be who they are because of their dad. Sure some dads are jerks and should not be anywhere near their kids for the children’s safety. But more often than not, deny a child their father and the kid won’t grow up right. A great part of their development gets denied to them.
Dads are important. Dads are the reason a kid grows up right or grows up to be useless. Dads also have no support. Dads are most likely to have access to their kids denied. There are sod all blogs and social media accounts aimed at helping dads. That sucks. We’re learning to raise kids as well but we only have mum’s word on how to raise our kids. But mum can’t do what we do and we need to raise kids our way as well.
That’s why I developed the Child Rearing chamber in noise.cash. I want dads to discuss raising children open and honest. It’s less easy for us than for mums because they have more open support. That needs to change. And you’ll earn Bitcoin Cash (BCH) while you do. Win win.
As I have struggled initially with the fatherhood I have found his constant support and encouragement invaluable and I would encourage other dads to join the Child Rearing Chamber – as an extra incentive not only is it a place to find support, but as lowededwookie has already said you can earn free crypto through signing up.
The original article can be found on his Read:Cash blog.Omega claims no copyright as it belongs entirely to lowededwookie